How do you get people to trust you? You need to care about them.
Who do you trust more? Nurses or barristers? Teachers or politicians? Pastors or vendors in the market? One of the biggest reasons for trust is the perception that people are concerned beyond themselves, for the good of the whole. A nurse can care for patients while they are ill, taking care of them while in the hospital, but we may wonder if the barrister truly has our best interest at heart. “Resolve to be among those who are trusted in your field. Show that you think beyond yourself; you will be distinctive and successful in your industry.” David Horsager.
More from David.” Do not underestimate the bottom-line of compassion. The ability to show care, empathy, and compassion is a strong component of trust. This ability is rooted in two long-standing virtues. The first is being able to “walk in someone else’s shoes” and understand things of his or her experience. The second is continually acting on the principle “Do unto others as you would have them do to you”. On a basic level, the basic link between care and trust is fundamental. The following saying is true: “People do not care how much you know until they know how much you care””.
Although nurses, teachers, and pastors tend to be some of the most trusted professionals, there is nobody more trusted than a mother. Few people trust anyone more than their mother. Why? because they have learned from experience that Mother thinks beyond herself. In most cases she is committed to her children and want the best for them in their lives. When it comes to building trust with compassion, commitment, and sacrifice, mothers are at the top of the list.
There are four key ways we can show we care. They are four “actions” that we can use to show care and compassion both in the workplace and in the home. We can call them the “LAWS” of compassion as they can help us remember them.
“L” stands for Listen. The best way to show people that you care is to really listen to them. Listening is a fundamental skill of genuine success, and it is hard to be trusted without it. The benefits of listening include more trust, better understanding, stronger marriages, happier children, and increased respect in the workplace. However, being a good listener is hard work!
Listening with a narrow focus. Have you ever been talking to someone, and they are continually distracted while you are talking to them and you wonder if they even hear you? That happens often and many times it isn’t intentional but to be a good listener we must as much as possible resist the distractions. Sometimes it may be impossible to do that, and in that case, you might explain to the speaker something like this. “I have to take this call, but I really want to hear what you are saying, could you please excuse me for a minute?” This allows the person to know that you care about what they have to say while taking and important phone call or deal with some other important interruption. It would be even better if you could let the interruption wait if possible.
“A” stands for Appreciation. Appreciation is the often overlooked need of every person.
One of the real ways we can show care to someone is through genuine appreciation. Everyone wants to be recognized for his or her hard work and valuable contributions. If you really want to change the culture of your organization, one of the most effective things to do is to notice people doing good work and encourage, appreciate, and thank them for it. If possible, do it in front of of peers or in a public setting. People and their accomplishments are what give an organization its value. Do not give false praise as it is one of the fastest ways to lose trust! I have seen this happen many times and although some may see this a politically correct, others will see that you are not honest or sincere. Once people see that you may be willing to say things that are not true to gain political favor or some other gain, they will not know when you are telling the truth or not. This is a huge trust killer! It may be better to remain silent.
Make your appreciation as personal as possible. Suppose you attend and event or program that was organized by a particular person. You could tell the person after the event that” this was a wonderful program”, and this would be a fine show of appreciation. However, if you wanted to make the gesture more personal you might say, “Wow, you did a wonderful job of organizing this program!”. Do you see the difference? The following are some practical ways you might show appreciation to deserving people. Kindness is powerful, it is also Christian and should be a part of our character as it was a part of Jesus’ character.
“W” stands for Wake Up. Being awake in this case is more like being “Aware”. Sometimes when we are focused on moving ahead in life, when we may be focused on achieving goals or other things that may lie in the future, we may be asleep and miss the opportunities and conversations that present today. By engaging in the moment, taking opportunity to focus on people we can show we care. When you do this, you show that you care and demonstrate compassion. This works to sharpen your trust edge.
“S” Stands for Serve Others. Serving, is another word for giving. When a person serves another person, they are giving something to that person. It may be as a server in a restaurant that brings food to your table. It may be giving your time to others by helping them with a physical need such as moving furniture or helping in their farm. There are thousands of ways we can serve people but what makes serving others a means of showing compassion is whether or not it is genuine. It is possible to serve others with less than noble motives, helping others with the hope of getting something in return.
As Christians we are instructed by God’s word to be givers and not only givers but generous givers. Generous and sincere service to others, builds trust. The ability to genuinely care for others and think beyond ones self is a solid component of trust.
If a person is in ministry or leadership, and people see these qualities in them, they will develop the trust edge.